Additional Wordplay

Guiltar: a musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother.

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace.

Governmend: Trying to fix everything through politics.

Fleezing: Running for your life, in the cold.

African Violent: How government blossoms on that continent.

Photographt: Using a fake ID to cash bad checks.

Electrocity: Using energy for war crimes and other evil purposes.

Republicant: "Small government" hypocrisy.

Democrant: Screaming about "unfairness" and "social justice".

Negligent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Wise words from Mensa

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.The winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating the Bozone layer, unfor-tunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

1. coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, (adj.) impotent.
6. negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, ( n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Quote of the Day

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the expectation of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body; but rather to "skid-in" sideways - Dink in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, What a Ride"

~unknown, but very wise

Gotta love My Marine Corps!

There is something to be said about knowing exactly where you are

This is befitting of the Creepy Little Mind

Am I going to be the only person who finds this hilarious?